Feeling unworthy is a normal reaction (a healthy reaction) to God’s presence.
This is Isaiah 6:
In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple. Above it stood the seraphims: each one had six wings; with twain he covered his face, and with twain he covered his feet, and with twain he did fly. And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory. And the posts of the door moved at the voice of him that cried, and the house was filled with smoke. Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts. Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar: And he laid it upon my mouth, and said, Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged.
Once I understood what this story meant I fell in love with it. When Isaiah saw God his immediate reaction is “Woe is me I am undone and so is all my kind.”
That word undone there means: dumb, silent, destroyed, and perished
I can tell you when you begin to see the beauty of Christ, the ugliness of yourself and all of mankind becomes much more apparent
Paul screamed out:
For I am conscious that in me, that is, in my flesh, there is nothing good: I have the mind but not the power to do what is right. For the good which I have a mind to do, I do not: but the evil which I have no mind to do, that I do. But if I do what I have no mind to do, it is no longer I who do it, but the sin living in me. So I see a law that, though I have a mind to do good, evil is present in me. In my heart I take pleasure in the law of God, But I see another law in my body, working against the law of my mind, and making me the servant of the law of sin which is in my flesh. How unhappy am I! who will make me free from the body of this death?
And it is when he got to this place he could see what comes next:
Rom 7:25 I give praise to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So with my mind I am a servant to the law of God, but with my flesh to the law of sin.
For this cause those who are in Christ Jesus will not be judged as sinners. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was not able to do because it was feeble through the flesh, God, sending his Son in the image of the evil flesh, and as an offering for sin, gave his decision against sin in the flesh: So that what was ordered by the law might be done in us, who are living, not in the way of the flesh, but in the way of the Spirit.
It is good to see that in ourselves- it is the sign you are a healthy Christian because it turns your eyes away from you and this world to Him. You hold onto Him and like we were talking about you begin to be transformed into His image.
Rom 8:29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
That’s why I got you to read that story in that book about Phillip of Delphia.. he had held on so tight and really cleaved to His armour/sword that it became a part of Him and he was kind of transformer into it.
You now how when you look up at the Sun to long and you get stuck with an image of the sun in your eyes even if you look away. Its kind of like that. You look to Christ long enough and so passionately that even when you aren’t trying you still see him- he is a part of you- you are becoming Him.
There will be a lot of suffering along the way… the old man has to be put to death. That is why the angel in the story of Isaiah touched his lips with coal. Burning and fire have to do with God getting rid of the flesh/ that old man… That’s why God says:
You have cause for great joy in this, though it may have been necessary for you to be troubled for a little time, being tested in all sorts of ways, So that the true metal of your faith, being of much greater value than gold which, though it comes to an end, is tested by fire, may come to light in praise and glory and honour, at the revelation of Jesus Christ: To whom your love is given, though you have not seen him; and the faith which you have in him, though you do not see him now, gives you joy greater than words and full of glory: For so you have the true end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.
(1 Peter 1:6-9)
Gold is tested and made pure by fire.. God purifies us with fire so all that is of us (that old man) and everything that is not of Him is consumed. That is why God is called a consuming fire. He only wants Christ. So we are transformed into that by being tested and having to cleave and look to Christ.
Make any sense?