Paralyzed

So I’m going to start this one off with a rap lyric \, coming from NF:

“I’m paralyzed
I’m scared to live but I’m scared to die
And if life is pain then I buried mine a long time ago
But it’s still alive
And it’s taking over me where am I?
I wanna feel something, I’m numb inside
But I feel nothing, I wonder why
And on the race of life time passes by
Look
I sit back and I watch it, hands in my pockets
Waves come crashing over me but I just watch ’em
I just watch ’em
I’m under water but I feel like I’m on top of it
I’m at the bottom and I don’t know what the problem is
I’m in a box
But I’m the one who locked me in
Suffocating and I’m running out of oxygen”

And then I read this:

And entering into the boat, He passed over and came to His own city. And, behold! They were bringing a paralytic lying on a cot to Him. And seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralyzed one, Be comforted, child. Your sins have been remitted. And, behold, some of the scribes said within themselves, This One blasphemes. And seeing their thoughts, Jesus said, Why do you think evil in your hearts? For what is easier, to say, Your sins are remitted, or to say, Rise up and walk? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to remit sins, then He said to the paralytic, Rising up, lift up your cot and go to your house. And rising up, he went away to his house. And seeing, the crowds marveled, and they glorified God, the One giving such authority to men.
(Matthew 9:1-8)

So often, individuals read over this chapter and the thought is, “Yes, God is mighty and powerful. Able to heal the sick.” I feel like there is so much more to see than what we see with the naked eye. Just as the leper represents the sinner, I think the paralyzed here represents paralyzed believers. Not paralyzed with physical limitations, but with the thoughts above that our friend Nate was feeling. Have you ever felt like that? I have. At a loss. Can’t move. Paralysis is “Paralysis is the loss of muscle function in part of your body. It happens when something goes wrong with the way messages pass between your brain and muscles.” Diseases that slowly progress can cause it as well as trauma. Now lets look at that in a spiritual light, knowing God is displayed in His creation.

There are some Christians that slowly become numb. Just like a disease progressing, they lose more and more feeling until they can no longer breathe and eventually die. Another way of getting paralyzed is shock from acute injury. I honestly have experienced some of both of these, but the latter much more recently. When I felt a loss, it was like the breath was knocked out of me and I could not catch another. I was stuck. Life had turned upside down and I was a loss for what to do, feel, think next.

This scripture is good to me. Jesus did not just say, “Get up and walk!” He understood this person’s condition, their pain, their willingness to move but the lacking ability. He knew the spirit was willing (I mean he had people bring him to Jesus) but the flesh was indefinitely WEAK. No! He didn’t just say “Get up.” He says, “Be comforted, child. Your sins have been remitted.” He provides comfort. He knows how we are suffering:

For we do not have a high priest not being able to sympathize with our weaknesses but One having been tried in all respects according to our likeness, apart from sin. Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy, and we may find grace for timely help.
(Hebrews 4:15-16)

For in what He has suffered, being tried, He is able to help those being tried.
(Hebrews 2:18)

Lets remind ourselves of whom He is that we serve:

For He comes up before Him as a tender plant, and as a root out of dry ground. He has no form nor magnificence that we should see Him; nor form that we should desire Him. He is despised and abandoned of men, a Man of pains, and acquainted with sickness. And as it were hiding our faces from Him, He being despised, and we did not value Him. Surely He has borne our sicknesses, and He carried our pain; yet we esteemed Him plagued, smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions; He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His wounds we ourselves are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have each one turned to his own way; and Jehovah made meet in Him the iniquity of all of us. He was oppressed, and He was afflicted, but He did not open His mouth. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter; and as a ewe before her shearers is dumb, so He opened not His mouth. He was taken from prison and from justice; and who shall consider His generation? For He was cut off out of the land of the living; from the transgression of My people, the stroke was to Him. And He appointed Him His grave with the wicked, but He was with a rich man in His death; though He had done no violence, and deceit was not in His mouth. But Jehovah pleased to crush Him, to make Him sick, so that If He should put His soul as a guilt offering, He shall see His seed; He shall prolong His days; and the will of Jehovah shall prosper in His hand. He shall see the fruit of the travail of His soul; He shall be fully satisfied. By His knowledge the righteous One, My Servant, shall justify for many, and He shall bear their iniquities. Because of this I will divide to Him with the great, and with the strong He shall divide the spoil; because He poured out His soul to death; and He was counted with those transgressing; and He bore the sin of many, and made intercession for those transgressing.
(Isaiah 53:2-12)

In THIS we are comforted: That CHRIST has remitted our sins. We need not be afraid of moving – terrified that we are going to do or say the wrong thing. Christ is capable -not only BUT HAS DONE IT – of cleansing us of not just sins, but sin itself. We can do all things IN HIM. We need not be afraid to move. BE YE COMFORTED. This man left walking! Oh, how those who are numb; those who are lost would be comforted if they brought themselves to THIS Christ.

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Separation and Expectations

“If you present the high ground of God’s full thought for His people and the hearts of the people are really set upon having a work for God down here that is flourishing and prosperous and well-spoken of, you find that people are really, after all, only going with Him so long as He comes into line with their ideas and ambitions. But immediately that runs counter to thoughts more earthly, thoughts even in relation to Him, something deeper rises up. They are not going to have that. You have seen that many times; you must not touch their things. They say it is for the Lord, but you must not touch it; it is their own. If you are not coming to help their thing or things with your ministry or presentation, of course they won’t have it, and it resolves itself into this: they won’t have Him; that is not the kind of Lord they want. They want a Lord who is going to make their thing for Him successful down here. You can only know and discriminate between the true and the false when you yourself are on the higher ground. Perhaps you know something about that. The Lord may have led you on spiritually, He has led you into new realms, and you look back and see what your devotion to the Lord really amounted to before – very largely something in this life.” – T.A. Sparks

Going on with God, often means losing individuals related to this exact point. Often, people follow God – get in a movement – but are focused on the temporary. Likely much of their own works are involved and outwardly they look very righteous. The religious church system we see throughout our nation, that may have a positive outlook on the outside with acts such as feeding the poor, charities, and ministries, is largely something temporal. “Christians” have their eyes set on the here and now. God’s major purpose for eternity is not necessarily the hunger in these individuals hearts. That is why so often when these ministries fail, individuals lose hope. Their expectation was not in Christ but in the thing itself. I have lost individuals on this line. They were determined to have their God. They stumbled on the testimony of Christ. God does not change, and Christ work in the cross should be worked out in His people. God is not a cruel God; however, the cross is a necessity to bring us to the end of ourselves, lest we not seek God. If we have it within ourselves, where would be the need?

I have struggled with this myself, putting faith in a situation or even individuals which I felt God led me to. Unfortunately, I could feel myself trusting more in the gift that the Giver. For example, God may lead us in to a situation. But then we cling to the fact we know He led us there, and we may get stuck there when he is later drawing us on. We may grasp at the situation and say I musn’t leave it – God put me in this; not understanding that God is moving on from it. He has had his purpose in such a thing and it is time to move on, but we have made a religion out of this thing – it is now our creed. It is easy to lose focus of God’s vision and only see with our natural eyes and understanding. God is far, far above us in his ways, mind, and works. God help us to “Seek first the Kingdom of God.”

Awesomeness of God

How silly we are to view the Almighty God with a conception of only the current state of time! Our problems, our past – US in general. What are we in comparison to God’s eternal purpose. Do not mistake my point – we are crucial to that purpose; however, God’s plans and ways are FAR, FAR above our understanding. We see our lifespan as something above our understanding. We are overwhelmed by the thought of the day of creation until the end of times – but Christ is far and above that. God’s purpose through Christ spans all eternity – from ages past to the never ending ages to follow ours. And God plans to express Christ to us for eternity, revealing His Son to those He has called according to His purpose.

And here we stand – at least me and my posts – with such a temporal standing. We are speaking of a God eternal, omnipotent. He has no end. We will, by His grace, learn of Christ throughout eternity! That thought is exciting and comforting to me. To know that through Jesus Christ, I have right standing with God and he will, not only through this life, guide me into knowing more of Christ.

If you are interested, this is what sparked my thoughts: http://austin-sparks.net/english/books/002767.html

In this message, Sparks mentions that our spiritual understanding is much like our natural understanding. When we are young, our perception is limited, we do not understand the vastness of the life we had. Small problems a child may have (not getting a candy bar) is a big deal to them – to an adult this seems a small thing (depending on the adult I suppose). Also, a child has a limited understanding of things. As we grow, we learn, we experience, things are revealed to us. It is the same way spiritually. We are led by our Heavenly Father to bigger and better things – at first they may seem beyond our understanding. It is like levels or climbing a mountain. Just when you think you can see the top, you climb and you find there is yet another level, and so on and so forth.

My point is God is so, so very far above our understanding and it is his awesomeness that leaves me speechless today – it is what comforts me when I have no comfort. I stand in awe of the God who is so far behind and before me. How can I be saddened thinking He does not know my condition now? How can my soul be cast down? Almighty God has called me according to His purpose and He will lead me in the way that I should go. Praise God for His awesomeness!

 

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Pained to be Delivered

I write today frustrated – bursting at the seams. Last year, I lost someone. Prior, I had no true sense of death, or life for that matter. Everything was happy, go lucky. I have always been a deep thinker – trapped in my mind, if you will. I may talk a lot, but my deepest, most sincere thoughts rarely pass my lips. I used to think that I had suffered. I thought I had lost things. Oh, how naive I was. I cannot honestly say to my previous self, “You have no idea what suffering is.” For over a year now I am plagued. I am haunted. Life. Death. Heaven. Hell. Past. Future. Regrets. Decisions. Actions. It is like I am stuck in a pit and everyone around me is running freely, not stuck in the mire. I want to run like everyone else but I’m paralyzed to do so. I hate how everyone else can live such normal lives. I hate how they can feel that they have got it all and understand life. I was that person and, oh, how many I may have hurt than were stuck in the mire when I was running free. And now I still can’t help them because I am stuck as well. I know that I am free in Christ but objectively I have not gotten the victory. It is true in the spirit, yet in the flesh I am TRULY weak.

In the last year, I have had severe severs to my most intimate relationships. I have tried in vain to fill the gaping holes to no avail. I know that God is getting me to the place only He can fill that hole, and he has to break down my stubborn self to realize that only He can. Do not get me wrong, anyone that reads this. I have not lost my faith in God. Do I struggle with doubt? Fears? Unbelief? Yes! I would lie to say I did not. But I am confident that the one who promised will fulfill. He will not leave me. He will not forsake me, though others may. I do not know what the future holds. And to think on such, brings me to despair on how much life is bigger than me, and how very small my existence is. As David said, I am but a worm.  God is far greater than I can understand or comprehend and how dare I attempt to. If he leads me in a way, I am not to despise it. I am to praise His Holy name! The lower I go, ironically the more beautiful He becomes – and how His beauty haunts me in relation to what I am. I know that in Christ that is covered but oh how I struggle to come to the true realization of that. God help me! I know it is so, but I feel nothing at times.

“All who fear the LORD, praise him! All the seed of Jacob, glorify him! All the seed of Israel, fear him! For he does not despise nor detest the afflicted person; he does not hide his face from him, but he hears him when he cries out to him.” My praise in the great congregation is because of you; I will pay my vows before those who fear you. The afflicted will eat and be satisfied; those who seek the LORD will praise him, “May you live forever!” All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the LORD; all the families of the nations will bow in submission to the LORD. Indeed, the kingdom belongs to the LORD; he rules over the nations. All the prosperous people will eat and bow down in submission. All those who are about to go down to the grave will bow down in submission, along with the one who can no longer keep himself alive. Our descendants will serve him, and that generation will be told about the Lord. They will come and declare his righteousness to a people yet to be born; indeed, he has accomplished it!
(Psalms 22:23-31)

Let me praise the name of God with a song that I may magnify him with thanksgiving. That will please the LORD more than oxen and bulls with horns and hooves. The afflicted will watch and rejoice. May you who seek God take courage. For the LORD listens to the needy and doesn’t despise those in bondage. Let the heavens and earth praise him, along with the sea and its swarming creatures. For God will deliver Zion and will rebuild the cities of Judah so they may live there and possess them. The descendants of his servants will inherit it, and those who cherish his name will live there.
(Psalms 69:30-36)

Our Current State

Our generation is overcome. We are not fighting. We have lost. Where are morals, values, beliefs, and loyalty? We are in a generation that not only accepts sin, but embraces it; “you only live once,” right? Many are without hope, lost in the loneliness of their minds. Pain seems overwhelming. I could go on and on. But it is OUR fault. We blame so many: our parents, people who hurt us, the government, etc. You cannot put your problems on someone else’s shoulder. None of us have had perfect lives, but life is a fight. We can’t blame our problems. “I have anxiety.” “I have depression.” “I was abused.” “I have a disability.” We attempt to numb ourselves with medications, drugs, alcohol, sex, distractions, entertainment. In a state of apathy, we think “Whatever will be, will be.” We are all hurting. WE have got to stand up and fight. We are going to have to get a hold of God and not let go, holding on for dear life. No one is teaching us right from wrong. The prosperity teachers on TV aren’t going to do it. Christianity has become something to mock – As a Christian, I find it disgusting. “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.” (DC Talk)

Since no one else wants to say the problem, I will. Per surveys completed, 2/3 of the US feel they know right vs wrong. Perhaps where we should start is with was taken out of the schools: the Ten Commandments (ever heard of them?).


You are to have no other gods besides me. You are not to make for yourselves an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above, or on earth below, or in the water under the earth. You are not to bow down to them in worship or serve them; because I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the iniquity of the parents, to the third and fourth generations of those who hate me, but showing gracious love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.

(Exo 20:3-6)

Did you know only 11% of our generation are certain there is a God? Compared to 34% of Baby Boomers – and this includes Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, etc.

… We know that no idol is real in this world and that there is only one God. For even if there are “gods” in heaven and on earth (as indeed there are many so-called “gods” and “lords”), yet for us there is only one God, the Father, from whom everything came into being and for whom we live. And there is only one Lord, Jesus the Messiah, through whom everything came into being and through whom we live.

(1Co 8:4-6)

Gods are not the only idols. An idol is anything you put before God. Who do you put first? What would you give up for Him? What do you give your time to? Where is your heart? Many it is just ourselves – we hold the seat of our hearts. We live for us and what we seek, want, desire. Do we ever seek God and His will?


“You are not to misuse the name of the LORD your God, because the LORD will not leave the one who misuses his name unpunished.

(Exo 20:7)

Why is it that you never hear Muhammed’s name shouted a swear? Buddha? One of the Hindu gods? Oh no! that might be offensive. But “Jesus Christ” is a common exclamation. How about “God damn?”


“Remember to keep the Sabbath day holy. Six days you are to labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. You are not to do any work, neither you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your livestock, nor the alien who is within your gates, because the LORD made the heavens and the earth and the sea, and all that is in them, in six days, then he rested on the seventh day. Therefore, the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

(Exo 20:8-11)

Forget just going to church every Sunday! Do you ever have one day where you just rest and meditate on God? One hour? How often do our minds even think on Him? Do we give Him any of our time? Yet we wonder why we do not see him doing miracles, we do not hear Him talk?? We ignore Him and yet expect everything from Him in return. We only pray when there is trouble, someone is dying, or we are at the end of ourselves. Now Jesus Christ fulfilled the Sabbath for us. He was the ultimate sacrifice. He gave all and we give him nothing.


“Honor your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.

(Exo 20:12)

I will give you this – that many parents out there today are “Do as I say, not as I do.” Or like many, do not feel the need to discipline their child but let the child find their own way through life. What a cop out! You are a parent – that is your job.

But to those children who had parents that at least tried, how often we disobey. I urge you to read the scriptures below:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

(Eph 6:1-4)

My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

(Pro 6:20)

Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.

(Pro 23:22)

He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach. Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causeth to err from the words of knowledge.

(Pro 19:26-27)

Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.

(Pro 20:20)


“You are not to murder.

(Exo 20:13)

There were 15,696 murders in 2015. Jesus, Himself, goes one step further, commanding:

“You have heard that it was told those who lived long ago, ‘You must not murder,’ and ‘Whoever murders will be subject to punishment.’ But I say to you, anyone who is angry with his brother without a cause will be subject to punishment. And whoever says to his brother ‘Raka!’ will be subject to the Council. And whoever says ‘You fool!’ will be subject to hell fire. “So if you are presenting your gift at the altar and remember there that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and first go and be reconciled to your brother. Then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your opponent while you are on the way to court, or your opponent may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. I tell you with certainty, you will not get out of there until you pay back the last dollar!”

(Mat 5:21-26)


“You are not to commit adultery.

(Exo 20:14)

57% of men report cheating, 54% of women. 22% of men cheated while married; 14% of women. 95% of people have had premarital sex!  The very word adultery means sex outside of marriage. Did you know that only 6% of virgin-marriages end in divorce? And that’s just for the woman being a virgin – not both! I find it heartbreaking that people call themselves Christians but do not follow this commandment. You scorn others for their sexual skin (homosexuality, cheating, porn) and yet you are no better – sin is sin.  On the subject of porn and “just looking”:

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

(Mat 5:27-30)


“You are not to steal.

(Exo 20:15)

27,000,000 have shoplifted or stole – roughly 1 in 11. Not to mention stealing from the government, fraud, etc.

Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.

(Eph 4:28)


“You are not to testify falsely against your neighbor.

(Exo 20:16)

Gossip is an ugly sin. The bible calls it back biting. So often we beat others down, and lift ourselves up. What if they are hurting? If you were in their exact situation perhaps you would do the same thing. We do not always understand each other’s actions, but we are no better.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

(Eph 4:29)

“You are not to spread a false report, nor are you to join forces with the wicked to be a malicious witness.

(Exo 23:1)

If anyone thinks that he is religious and does not bridle his tongue, but instead deceives himself, his religion is worthless.

(Jas 1:26)

Do not criticize each other, brothers. Whoever makes it his habit to criticize his brother or to judge his brother is judging the Law and condemning the Law. But if you condemn the Law, you are not a practicer of the Law but its judge.

(Jas 4:11)

The power of the tongue is life and death—those who love to talk will eat what it produces.

(Pro 18:21)


“You are not to covet your neighbor’s house. You are not to covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

(Exo 20:17)

For the wicked one boasts about his own desire; he blesses the greedy and despises the LORD.

(Psa 10:3)

Instead, each person is tempted by his own desire, being lured and trapped by it. When that desire becomes pregnant, it gives birth to sin; and when that sin grows up, it gives birth to death.

(Jas 1:14-15)

Of course, godliness with contentment does bring a great profit. Nothing to this world we bring; from it take we nothing. With food to eat and clothes to wear; content we are in everything. But people who want to get rich keep toppling into temptation and are trapped by many stupid and harmful desires that plunge them into destruction and ruin. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, in their eagerness to get rich, have wandered away from the faith and caused themselves a lot of pain.

(1Ti 6:6-10)

“That’s why I’m telling you to stop worrying about your life—what you will eat or what you will drink—or about your body—what you will wear. Life is more than food, isn’t it, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky. They don’t plant or harvest or gather food into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. You are more valuable than they are, aren’t you? Can any of you add a single hour to the length of your life by worrying? And why do you worry about clothes? Consider the lilies in the field and how they grow. They don’t work or spin yarn, but I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. Now if that is the way God clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and thrown into an oven tomorrow, won’t he clothe you much better—you who have little faith? “So don’t ever worry by saying, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’ because it is the gentiles who are eager for all those things. Surely your heavenly Father knows that you need all of them! But first be concerned about God’s kingdom and his righteousness, and all of these things will be provided for you as well. So never worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

(Mat 6:25-34)

“Again, you have heard that it was told those who lived long ago, ‘You must not swear an oath falsely,’ but ‘You must fulfill your oaths to the Lord.’ But I tell you not to swear at all, neither by heaven, because it is God’s throne, nor by the earth, because it is his footstool, nor by Jerusalem, because it is the city of the Great King. Nor should you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. Instead, let your message be ‘Yes’ for ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ for ‘No.’ Anything more than that comes from the evil one.” “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you not to resist an evildoer. On the contrary, whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other to him as well. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go two with him. Give to the person who asks you for something, and do not turn away from the person who wants to borrow something from you.” “You have heard that it was said, ‘You must love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, so that you will become children of your Father in heaven, because he makes his sun rise on both evil and good people, and he lets rain fall on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you have? Even the tax collectors do the same, don’t they? And if you greet only your relatives, that’s no great thing you’re doing, is it? Even the gentiles do the same, don’t they? So be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

(Mat 5:33-48)


Now with all this said, things may feel hopeless – a threshold which we cannot reach. And you know what? It’s true. We will fall short, and that is where Christ comes in. However, that does not give us the justification to continue in it.

So, what am I getting at? The hypocrisy of my generation. You think there is no God? IF there was how could things be so hard, so painful, so full of destruction. Well, we got ourselves here. He is just waiting for us. It’s our move. Are we going to seek Him? – Truly? Because it does involve the above.

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.

(2Ti 3:1-8)

 

No wonder there is so much destruction on the world right now…