Separation and Expectations

“If you present the high ground of God’s full thought for His people and the hearts of the people are really set upon having a work for God down here that is flourishing and prosperous and well-spoken of, you find that people are really, after all, only going with Him so long as He comes into line with their ideas and ambitions. But immediately that runs counter to thoughts more earthly, thoughts even in relation to Him, something deeper rises up. They are not going to have that. You have seen that many times; you must not touch their things. They say it is for the Lord, but you must not touch it; it is their own. If you are not coming to help their thing or things with your ministry or presentation, of course they won’t have it, and it resolves itself into this: they won’t have Him; that is not the kind of Lord they want. They want a Lord who is going to make their thing for Him successful down here. You can only know and discriminate between the true and the false when you yourself are on the higher ground. Perhaps you know something about that. The Lord may have led you on spiritually, He has led you into new realms, and you look back and see what your devotion to the Lord really amounted to before – very largely something in this life.” – T.A. Sparks

Going on with God, often means losing individuals related to this exact point. Often, people follow God – get in a movement – but are focused on the temporary. Likely much of their own works are involved and outwardly they look very righteous. The religious church system we see throughout our nation, that may have a positive outlook on the outside with acts such as feeding the poor, charities, and ministries, is largely something temporal. “Christians” have their eyes set on the here and now. God’s major purpose for eternity is not necessarily the hunger in these individuals hearts. That is why so often when these ministries fail, individuals lose hope. Their expectation was not in Christ but in the thing itself. I have lost individuals on this line. They were determined to have their God. They stumbled on the testimony of Christ. God does not change, and Christ work in the cross should be worked out in His people. God is not a cruel God; however, the cross is a necessity to bring us to the end of ourselves, lest we not seek God. If we have it within ourselves, where would be the need?

I have struggled with this myself, putting faith in a situation or even individuals which I felt God led me to. Unfortunately, I could feel myself trusting more in the gift that the Giver. For example, God may lead us in to a situation. But then we cling to the fact we know He led us there, and we may get stuck there when he is later drawing us on. We may grasp at the situation and say I musn’t leave it – God put me in this; not understanding that God is moving on from it. He has had his purpose in such a thing and it is time to move on, but we have made a religion out of this thing – it is now our creed. It is easy to lose focus of God’s vision and only see with our natural eyes and understanding. God is far, far above us in his ways, mind, and works. God help us to “Seek first the Kingdom of God.”

Awesomeness of God

How silly we are to view the Almighty God with a conception of only the current state of time! Our problems, our past – US in general. What are we in comparison to God’s eternal purpose. Do not mistake my point – we are crucial to that purpose; however, God’s plans and ways are FAR, FAR above our understanding. We see our lifespan as something above our understanding. We are overwhelmed by the thought of the day of creation until the end of times – but Christ is far and above that. God’s purpose through Christ spans all eternity – from ages past to the never ending ages to follow ours. And God plans to express Christ to us for eternity, revealing His Son to those He has called according to His purpose.

And here we stand – at least me and my posts – with such a temporal standing. We are speaking of a God eternal, omnipotent. He has no end. We will, by His grace, learn of Christ throughout eternity! That thought is exciting and comforting to me. To know that through Jesus Christ, I have right standing with God and he will, not only through this life, guide me into knowing more of Christ.

If you are interested, this is what sparked my thoughts: http://austin-sparks.net/english/books/002767.html

In this message, Sparks mentions that our spiritual understanding is much like our natural understanding. When we are young, our perception is limited, we do not understand the vastness of the life we had. Small problems a child may have (not getting a candy bar) is a big deal to them – to an adult this seems a small thing (depending on the adult I suppose). Also, a child has a limited understanding of things. As we grow, we learn, we experience, things are revealed to us. It is the same way spiritually. We are led by our Heavenly Father to bigger and better things – at first they may seem beyond our understanding. It is like levels or climbing a mountain. Just when you think you can see the top, you climb and you find there is yet another level, and so on and so forth.

My point is God is so, so very far above our understanding and it is his awesomeness that leaves me speechless today – it is what comforts me when I have no comfort. I stand in awe of the God who is so far behind and before me. How can I be saddened thinking He does not know my condition now? How can my soul be cast down? Almighty God has called me according to His purpose and He will lead me in the way that I should go. Praise God for His awesomeness!

 

Pained to be Delivered

I write today frustrated – bursting at the seams. Last year, I lost someone. Prior, I had no true sense of death, or life for that matter. Everything was happy, go lucky. I have always been a deep thinker – trapped in my mind, if you will. I may talk a lot, but my deepest, most sincere thoughts rarely pass my lips. I used to think that I had suffered. I thought I had lost things. Oh, how naive I was. I cannot honestly say to my previous self, “You have no idea what suffering is.” For over a year now I am plagued. I am haunted. Life. Death. Heaven. Hell. Past. Future. Regrets. Decisions. Actions. It is like I am stuck in a pit and everyone around me is running freely, not stuck in the mire. I want to run like everyone else but I’m paralyzed to do so. I hate how everyone else can live such normal lives. I hate how they can feel that they have got it all and understand life. I was that person and, oh, how many I may have hurt than were stuck in the mire when I was running free. And now I still can’t help them because I am stuck as well. I know that I am free in Christ but objectively I have not gotten the victory. It is true in the spirit, yet in the flesh I am TRULY weak.

In the last year, I have had severe severs to my most intimate relationships. I have tried in vain to fill the gaping holes to no avail. I know that God is getting me to the place only He can fill that hole, and he has to break down my stubborn self to realize that only He can. Do not get me wrong, anyone that reads this. I have not lost my faith in God. Do I struggle with doubt? Fears? Unbelief? Yes! I would lie to say I did not. But I am confident that the one who promised will fulfill. He will not leave me. He will not forsake me, though others may. I do not know what the future holds. And to think on such, brings me to despair on how much life is bigger than me, and how very small my existence is. As David said, I am but a worm.  God is far greater than I can understand or comprehend and how dare I attempt to. If he leads me in a way, I am not to despise it. I am to praise His Holy name! The lower I go, ironically the more beautiful He becomes – and how His beauty haunts me in relation to what I am. I know that in Christ that is covered but oh how I struggle to come to the true realization of that. God help me! I know it is so, but I feel nothing at times.

“All who fear the LORD, praise him! All the seed of Jacob, glorify him! All the seed of Israel, fear him! For he does not despise nor detest the afflicted person; he does not hide his face from him, but he hears him when he cries out to him.” My praise in the great congregation is because of you; I will pay my vows before those who fear you. The afflicted will eat and be satisfied; those who seek the LORD will praise him, “May you live forever!” All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the LORD; all the families of the nations will bow in submission to the LORD. Indeed, the kingdom belongs to the LORD; he rules over the nations. All the prosperous people will eat and bow down in submission. All those who are about to go down to the grave will bow down in submission, along with the one who can no longer keep himself alive. Our descendants will serve him, and that generation will be told about the Lord. They will come and declare his righteousness to a people yet to be born; indeed, he has accomplished it!
(Psalms 22:23-31)

Let me praise the name of God with a song that I may magnify him with thanksgiving. That will please the LORD more than oxen and bulls with horns and hooves. The afflicted will watch and rejoice. May you who seek God take courage. For the LORD listens to the needy and doesn’t despise those in bondage. Let the heavens and earth praise him, along with the sea and its swarming creatures. For God will deliver Zion and will rebuild the cities of Judah so they may live there and possess them. The descendants of his servants will inherit it, and those who cherish his name will live there.
(Psalms 69:30-36)